Springhill Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at the nearby Legacy Oaks. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version and still he is not around (he has a girlfriend that lives across the bay!).
West Mobile Barbie
Recently moved from Springhill (the new money area of Mobile )
The modern day homemaker/professional - Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Still goes back to Springhill for Drs. appt, shopping, bakery, pizza, weddings, and funerals, but is found regularly at the Heron Lakes (the former Skyline Country Club). New money needed a new name! Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
Orange Beach Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Closeted Ken and Private School Skipper.. You won't be able to afford any of them. Flood insurance optional.
Grand Bay Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) , unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Valid non-expired license plate optional.
Citronelle Barbie
She jus' lookin' for all three of her baby daddies. Set comes with baby Nieshia and baby Twanna. Mayor and Police Chief optional.
Midtown Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair , arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Midtown Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. Reserved parking space at Just Us Lesbian Lounge optional.
Wilmer Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Miller Lite and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Free mullet hair cut included.
Semmes Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Brandon Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home. Includes a subscription to Oakway Trailer Park Times.
Dauphin Island Barbie
This Barbie is also known as the wanted to have a house in Orange Beach but couldn’t afford it Barbie. Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED, bus pass, and inflatable raft in case of a hurricane. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Additional infants available every nine months. Dauphin Island ferry passes NOT included.
Saraland Barbie
Look at the picture....need we say more ? Pabst Blue Ribbon sold separately.
