"A liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

I read this and got a good laugh today:

"I voted Democrat because
I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are
obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas
at 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat because
I believe the government will do a better job of
spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because
Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because
When we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what
they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I voted Democrat because
I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police
Are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because
I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can
tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away In ten years if I don't
start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because
I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for
themselves . They need to break even and give the rest away to the
government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I voted Democrat because
I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days
to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the
voters."